Denis Waitley says, “Many people are imprisoned by invisible barriers which are only psychological limitations learned from bad experiences. You see you behave today in accordance with past experiences, real or imagined.”
“The lesson here is that who you are today is a collection of yesterdays experiences. Many of the barriers we have come from our parents, spouses, teachers, friends, co-workers - even the media. Surprisingly, we usually don’t even know the barriers exist until someone points them out and, if the barriers help to maintain a feeling of security, we will defend them to the end.”
This quote comes from last weeks post “Are You a Half-a-Tanker.” It’s about moving beyond a barrier - one that looks like security but is really a wall between you and freedom.
So what is the most secure place you can think of? For some people, it may look like a home in a nice suburb and a good health and dental plan. For other people it might look like that dream job on the 35th floor with an office overlooking the town, still others a good retirement income derived from passive income, such as royalties from creative works like books, music or movie productions. Then there is the other type of maximum security behind the walls of prison. For many people this could be literal prison or one that is self made and just as binding, such as the prison of drug or alcohol addiction. Another, more subtle and yet just as binding is the psychological limitation(s) many people live behind - limitations that diminish their effectiveness and stop them from living up to their fullest potential.
There are striking differences in how successful people think and how people who only wish they were successful think. One of the most obvious ways to tell what category you fall into is by listening to - and analyzing - your self-talk. Consider what your life could be if money wasn’t an issue. Now ask yourself, “What is stopping me from achieving that life?” When thinking of something you would like to do, such as travel to an exotic destination, or build and run a successful organization, or maybe write a book or record a music album, do you say “I can’t” or do you say, “How can I?”
Many people automatically think about themselves in a negative way - feeling inadequete or even unworthy of success. These thoughts come from past experiences. A previous failure might be the source but, more often than not, it is from others speaking these things into our lives. When people tell us we can’t, or we won’t, or we don’t know how, we’re not smart enough, rich enough, tough enough or any other negative statements, our sub-conscious absorbs them and, eventually, they become our beliefs about ourselves - if we let them.
I am here to tell you that if you listen to your self-talk, you will find where your weak links are and, as you change you can change. Many people don’t achieve the life they want, not because of who they are, but because of who they think they are. They think to themselves things like there is no sense in trying because I will probably fail anyway,” or “some people have all the luck and I am not one of them,” or “I don’t have any special skills or talents.” Many people will say things to themselves like ” I can’t learn new things like other people can.” I have heard many people say things like, “I tried that once and it didn’t work out well so I will never try that again.”
Successful people on the other hand will say to themselves things like, “I don’t know if I can do that, but I will try,” or they will say “That didn’t go very well but I will keep practicing till I get it right,” I have heard successful people say, “I learned the lesson from that failure and the next time turned it into a success.” Successful people have a habit of telling themselves, “I can learn new things and am not afraid to fail trying.” Successful people have a habit of self-talk that focuses on what they can do instead of what they can’t do! They seldom dwell on why something cannot be done and often focus on how it can. Instead of being a “can’t do” type of person be a “can do” type. It starts with the thoughts then the self-talk turns into actions.
Unlike the Pike in last weeks blog, we can change. It starts with the desire to change, the desire to live in freedom rather than live in bondage to our psychological limitations. One of the most important things we can do to move past the invisible barriers, is invite people who are encouragers into our lives. If you hear others tell you “you can,” “you will,” “you know how,” “you’re smart enough,” soon those thoughts will become our beliefs and our actions will change. We will move beyond the invisible barriers.
As always, I look forward to your comments…
Tags: Self-Talk
